Ben: Diary Of A Heroin Addict

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Rating: 9.6/10 (106 votes cast)
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As a bright schoolboy from a loving, middle-class family Ben Rogers was expected to make a success of his life. Raised in a quiet, picturesque village Ben was a Boy Scout, loved cricket, played in the school orchestra and looked forward to the annual family holiday. But despite his privileged start in life Ben found himself on the road to ruin, injecting heroin up to four times a day.

During his last months, Ben kept a video diary of his drug use and desperate attempts to come off heroin. Ravaged by the drug, Ben’s body began to break down: he developed DVT and his veins were rendered so useless he had to inject into his groin. Despite his family’s best efforts, Ben couldn’t stop. He was haunted by, and hooked on, heroin.

Ben: Diary of A Heroin Addict charts his lies and manipulation as he mixes his next hit whilst telling his mother Anne he is clean and making a new start. It reveals Annes anger and tears as Ben loses his fight against the drugs and shows how father Mikes unconditional love continues undiminished as they are forced to deal with their sons addiction.

Director Olly Lambert comments: It’s incredibly rare to come across such raw and unflinching footage of a man so close to an abyss. I was speechless when I first watched it. I hope the film finishes what Ben had begun: to give people a visceral understanding of the nature of addiction. It has been a privilege to try and unpick who Ben really was using the intimate legacy hes left behind.

“I hope to god you look at these videos and see what a mess I got myself into.” Ben Rogers.

Ben: Diary Of A Heroin Addict, 9.6 out of 10 based on 106 ratings

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  • http://2010homelesschampions.ca RECOVERED ADDICT

    The Harsh Reality of Drug Addiction richardmclaughlin007 — January 18, 2009 — after 11 months of sobriety from drug addiction, in 7 short days this man hits the depths of despair and insanity.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuNWCPDrJsM

    This video was shot in Vancouvers downtown eastside by the narrator it is quite extreme, It shows how common place and and readily available drugs are and how people can succomb to a extreme physical reaction from lack of sleep, nutrition and dehydration. This video was made for many different reasons, one being educational the other as mentioned earlier it’s common place here in Vancouver, in any other city or town in North America this man would have recieved immediate medical attention but here in Vancouver both the police and ambulance just drive by. If you do not belive me come on down and see our little human circus slash “HARM REDUCTION EXPERIMENT”
    This man was spotted two hours later sleeping on a concrete curb as his pillow.
    Both the narrator and producer of this video have had spent many years struggling with addiction and have spent hard time in Vancouvers “NOTORIOUS” downtown eastside.
    Today they have escaped and are clean and sober and now dedicate there lives to those who still suffer from “THE HARSH REALITY OF ADDICTION”

  • daniel

    This documentary could become very powerful…

  • http://documentaryheaven john egan

    people may look at this and think ” yeah whatever , still a junkie though. what about his family.” but i say thank you ben for letting ur family know u love them and thank you for being at the very least a human being. we can all learn this from eachother, and i think ben struggled with his problem or maybe problems but he seemed to really want to b better. RIP ben AND I KNOW UR SOUL IS WITH GOD.

  • Tom

    Ben was a junkie, but he there was something about him that made me like him. You can tell it took the tole on his parents. As in every documentary about someone who died, the family when interviewed cry. They didn’t shed a tear.

    I think they should of handcuffed him with his approval to somewhere in the basement, till the 5 day detox was over. Make it like a prison, but not. It could of made things worse because it the dire need of his fix he would of done something drastic, but if they could put him in that position to make him prove that he could detox, he would of given himself more hope and faith in himself to quit.

    Rest in Peace Ben, you can tell you were a good person.

    • Handzfeedback

      did you watch the film. it was the detox that killed him. not heroin overdose but the withdrawal.

  • annie

    I have a twenty one year old son who struggles with heroin addiction. He also comes from a professional family and has had a good upbringing. In Ben I saw my own son and this was insight into what the future holds for me as a mother. Nothing can prepare you for the devastation that heroin addiction brings to the whole family. I have met many parents in similar situations and I strive for an answer, but there isn’t one. Had my son been disabled there would have been help and respite, as it is there is nothing. This documentary has been very upsetting to watch but helps me prepare for what the future will bring. There is a whole generation of children lost to drugs and yet parents have to sit by and watch the drama unfold – dealing with drug addiction is not a vote winner and therefore sucessive governments have done nothing to deal with the problem. There are lots of support groups who invite you to share your experience but there is no-one to help!

    • http://documentaryheaven Paul

      You are so right, there is no help. I am the father of two teenage boys 17 and 15. We have struggled with our 17 year old smoking cannabis for 2 years now and have just found out that the younger one has also started smoking it too. We have searched forlornly for help and with the exception of well meaning councillors there is nothing but booklets on the potential damaging effects. My 17 year old doesn’t care, he has such low self esteem and appears to have no aim in life. We have fallen out and constantly do so and we have tried the more gentle approach of educating them both about the dangers and the consequences of their actions. We know that the eldest has tried other drugs though exactly what we are unsure. I can see where this is going, it’s just like a car crash in slow motion but we seem too far away to be able to stop it. This cannot be right, there MUST be some way of educating these kids. We surely can’t be expected to sit and watch yet be unable to help our own children as their lives unravel before us. It’s not only their own lives that are broken but that of whole families like yours. This Country needs to wake up and do something to help families who are faced with this nightmare.

      • mary

        wow. you can’t seriously be comparing weed (cannabis) to fuckin heroin?

        completely different worlds.

        no ones ever died or overdosed from weed. ever. it’s a fuckin plant. stupid people like you shock me.

        • Kerry

          Unnecessarily harsh reaction to what Paul said! Weed is incomparable to heroin but that’s all you needed to say, Paul and his family are clearly struggling with the boys’ addiction, albeit to cannabis. Still a drug and still controls lives. You really needn’t have commented, you just came off sounding like a complete asshole.

          • JC

            No, not unnecessarily harsh at all. 

            You have to be seriously retarded to compare your own sons with heroin addicts when all they use is cannabis.

            NO DON’T SMOKE THE EVIL WEED – Drink alcohol instead!

            Getting of topic here, back on track;

            by the way Paul, I bet your sons didn’t take any other drugs other than cannabis, it is probably you thinking that cannabis is a gateway drug, which is quite irrational. 

            Of course you are right,  the person that delivers them cannabis is probably also able to supply them with heroin, cocaine, meth and heck, maybe even a blow-job!

            It’s up to YOU to give your son(s) good and rational advice to NOT go anywhere near something that requires them to snort, swallow or shoot up.

            Or it be accompanied with a registered trade mark. In that case it’s fine.

        • Kerry

          Unnecessarily harsh reaction to what Paul said! Weed is incomparable to heroin but that’s all you needed to say, Paul and his family are clearly struggling with the boys’ addiction, albeit to cannabis. Still a drug and still controls lives. You really needn’t have commented, you just came off sounding like a complete asshole.

      • John

        As a parent and the sole reason your two sons are in existence right now its up to YOU to help them, not wait for the government to put in programs and councilors and whatever garbage. Its called the internet, and if you search hard enough you yourself can find out all about weed, but more importantly, ways of keeping your two sons busy occupied with more productive things, as boredom is the #1 reason for smoking weed at a young age, take it from a 2 year pothead who has recently stopped smoking, I too started at 17.

      • Maxwell

        The ignorance is strong in this one.

    • BaltimoreJen

      Help is hard to find and drugs are easy to find.
      Makes no sense.
      I have 3 years clean from heoin this past August.
      Some of us do make it out alive!

  • BaltimoreJen

    Is anyone else having problems with viewing this doc? Does anyone know where else it can be viewed? Really want to see it! thanks

    • Anne Rogers

      I am Ben’s mother. You can watch the documentary in five parts on YOUTUBE – Ben Diary of a Heroin Addict

      • BaltimoreJen

        Ms. Rogers,
        Thank you for the info and I watched it right away!!!
        I am a recovoring heroin addict. 3 years this past August.
        I am so sorry Ben did not make it. He seemed to be such a bright and funny man. I am also sorry for the pain you and your great husband had to endure. Addiction IS a family disease. Please take care of yourself and know Ben is pain no more. I still cry at least once a week for what I did to my family. Up side, I have my family back as well as my husband and children. I have been on Suboxone for over 3 years. I refused Methadone, it’s no better than heroin. I have been following all my programs and now get a perscription for a 1 month supply with 2 re-fills. In the U.S. thats almost un-heard of and alot of hard work.
        God Bless You Ms. Rogers
        Jennifer Howard-Brunson
        look me up on Facebbok, would love to chat. Learn what my Mom really went through emotionaly ( she wont tell me )

      • Handzfeedback

        hi ann i really appreciate watching the video as it shows the other side of drug addiction from the families point of view. i never really knew what my mum felt until i watched this. I really beleive ben would have been saved with ibogaine treatment. Im going to open a clinic here in nz. I hope for the best for you and the family and rip ben. you taught me sooo much in your video.

      • bringmeredwine

        Dear Ann, Ben WAS worth saving. You and your husband did everything you could. I raged at the injustice of your husband dying so young and all your misery. My thoughts are with you.

  • Afererg

    look up proximal abandenment… RIP Ben

  • Gizmohamus

    so sad RIP Ben

  • Adam

    This should be required viewing in high schools.

    RIP Ben, I hope you have found your peace.

  • Adam

    This should be required viewing in high schools.

    RIP Ben, I hope you have found your peace.

  • http://www.facebook.com/eltolley Eric Tolley

    His father was a Saint.

  • http://www.facebook.com/eltolley Eric Tolley

    His father was a Saint.

    • doodle12

      His father was an enabler as we’ll as his mum. They paid for his drugs and harboured his addiction! Middle class fcuking idiots with full res[onsibility for his death

  • [email protected]

    It’s unfortunate this review uses lines like “Ravaged by the drug, Ben’s body began to break down…”, because what destroyed his body was the delivery method, not the drug itself (speaking strictly in the physical sense, of course.) My experience is that harm reduction saves lives. Demonizing the drug itself, rather than, say, a filthy needle, reduced to barbs from sanding with a matchbook strip because only diabetics can get a clean syringe down at the local clinic, isn’t helping that cause. Heroin is non-toxic to the human body, and only kills in an overdose. Of course, the garbage it’s cut with down the supply line is horrible, too. Now, if it was legal, pure and regulated…but now I’m talking crazy talk.

  • Lightslide9

                 Hey guys! Thanks for your comments,
    & of course, much love to Ben [RIP] & his family! My heart goes out to you  E>  .

                   
    My names Ben, I’m in Perth, West. Australia, turning 23 (next month) & I’ve
    studied drugs both at university & on the street. It’s not common to witness
    the plight of addicts, only the ‘before & afters’, so for me the raw story here
    is precious. Today, drugs are so easily available through legal pharmaceutical
    & illegal ‘street’ organisations, & yet both citizens & society
    don’t know what they’re playing with. So I agree with “‘Adam’: This should
    be required viewing in high schools.”

                 I
    was a normal kid until i left high-school & tried PSYCHEDELIC drugs, which
    I & most 2nd/3rd-world & tribal cultures categorise as
    “(psycho-somatic) medicines” or ‘mind-body medicines’, as opposed to
    being, simply; “drugs”, as they are categorised in the 1st-world.

    I have also studied E (which i categorise as both a drug & a psychedelic)
    & amphetamines (which to me is simply a drug, though it has medicinal
    purposes such as respiratory assistance & psychoactive use for AD(H)D
    patients & so forth).

    From my research & experience:

                   
    Psychedelics are substances that can heal disease, whilst…

                               
    Drugs are substances that can deal with disease, but cannot heal it :(

    Therefore, in my opinion, drugs are conducive to dependence (& thus addiction) since they do not heal, but only deal with disease. On the other hand, psychedelic’s are conducive to healing disease & thus ending drug-use based on dealing with it.

                            The
    reason for my post is because I have an unknown illness that is causing 
    chronic fatigue. It began when I hit puberty, and has grown to cause me
    physical, sexual & mental fatigue that has evolved into depression etc.

    I came to try PSYCHEDELIC substances age 21, they have

    profoundly, harshly, and
    powerfully transformed my life for the better. The experiences are very
    confrontational, and very difficult. I initially took them every week-end, I
    now take them twice to four times a year because the consciousness in these
    ‘high’ states of mind have pervaded my ‘sober’ life, to effect in me a sense of grace & empowerment. They are still confrontational, & difficult, but they are also still
    therapeutic, & for me & those I know they are permanently therapeutic. 

                 I
    would like to bring to people’s attention the use of psychedelics to cure
    addictions; both for alcohol and less-frequently for heroin/crack. Psychedelic
    substances are absurdly safe (e.g. Mishan,
    1980 [see appendix’s 5, 7 & 11]), physically & mentally, yet they
    seem to be very efficient in aiding addicts to both choose to quit, and
    to physically handle it, as well as healing psychological issues such as
    depression (which is largely induced by low serotonin levels often resulting
    from drug-abuse).

                 I
    feel that if, perhaps in an institution, Ben received vitamins & minerals
    to support his body, & then low doses of LSD, he may have both “hit
    rock bottom” & “seen the light” in an intense,
    (psychedelically) intoxicated moment.

    I realise that this is controversial, & that it may be received as a bold
    & unstable point of view, I reflect on this deeply. If I didn’t experience
    for myself & witness in others  mental & physical healing as a result of
    psychedelic use I would never suggest such in important forums like
    this. Ben Rogers is dead, & heroin continues to kill,  I SUGGEST THE SAME SEVERITY SHOULD BE APPLIED TO INQUIRY INTO PSYCHEDELIC THERAPY FOR DRUG ADDICTS. It’s worthy to note that the dissent of the ‘psychedelic 60s’ in North
    America arguably demonstrated that psychedelics may work for some & not for
    others – & are especially dangerous in industrial societies where idiots drive ‘high’.

                 Though I have never tried heroin, & never will, Ben’s dark & drooping eyes look similar to my own. I, like Ben, often repeat
    to myself that “I’m tired”, & I, like Ben, am not satisfied with
    my body being like this.
                
    At 27:00 he says “I know I’ve failed before but I’ve never felt like this
    before. I know I’m ready.”
                
    At 39:00 he rightly rejects his low self-esteem, ‘promising’ he’s more than a junkie.

    As a result of my psychedelic experiences; following the energy & intelligence that have passed through my body & mind, I have realised that I, as a human being, am
    intrinsically incredible, & that I have a potential that is far greater or
    my culture has ever grasped, frankly.           

                 This
    ‘realisation’ may be delusional, but it is shared by those I know who have also
    had (high-dose) psychedelic experiences. In my opinion, these ‘delusions’ or
    ‘realisations’ would have offered Ben more than a promise that he is ‘more than a
    junkie’, he would, like myself & others, comprehend both his (mental) esteem
    as a being & his relationship to others & nature, which instills a
    conviction of self-worth & integrity as well as a responsibility (to himself
    & others) which I believe is a self-evident realisation that leads into a better life.                                                               As
    for his ‘new feeling for coming clean despite his past failures’, nothing I
    know can reach people,

    truly
    reach people, especially
    young, fragile or irresponsible boys, like an intense self-examination induced
    safely by psychedelics.  

                 I
    suggest psychedelics can help addicts because they offer a safe substitute ‘high’
    that is almost always therapeutic. Relevant to Ben Rogers’ case, I bring to your
    attention an article by John A. Speyrer,

    entitled
    “Ibogaine: Does This Psychedelic Drug Portend the End of Primal
    Therapy?”,

    published in
    From Primal
    Feelings Newsletter (Issue 11, 1995-96), which reads beginning at chap. 5:

    Howard S. Lotsof, a heroin addict, in the early
    1960′s, while looking for a new “high,” ingested a dose of ibogaine
    and to his surprise found out that the drug freed him from his heroin
    addiction. He consequently gave it to six of his friends and five remained free
    of their addiction.

    Lotsof has subsequently moved around the world healing
    addicts, though two have died perhaps as a result. To me, this is put in
    perspective following the countless that have broken arguably fatal habits & continued to live clean lives thanks to Lotsof,
    & also given the two deaths were addicts with arguably fatal habits. I
    believe the first decade of Ben Rogers’ addiction could have been broken by
    psychedelic therapy.

                Not
    only can psychedelics offer a healthy & safe substitute which have proven
    to not only break addictive behaviour, but be themselves highly non-addictive (see
    Cole, 2009), but they specifically target the 5HT receptor(s) & the
    corresponding molecule Serotonin which is essential for mental & physical
    health via the uptake of vitamins & minerals into the mind (e.g. Glennon, Titeler & Lyon, 1988, Nichols,
    2000, & Jerome, 2007, pp. 3-4). If one’s 5HT receptors are ill,
    depression & mental weakness arise (e.g. Svenningsson et al., 2006),
    which is arguably the foundation for drug-abuse which seeks to compensate for
    low self-esteem & mental submission to stress & responsibility (e.g. Yensen & Dryer, 2007). Drugs, not medicines, weaken & ultimately deplete serotonin.

                 I
    do not recommend going out in the streets to purchase psychedelics, nor do I
    recommend taking a substance without an assay (laboratory investigation) into
    what it actually is! I recommend going to a drug shelter, & locating through current
    patrons (who are likely on heroin) to use their connections (likely via them) to
    obtain the compound & then assay for confirmation & dose
    measurement. Failing that, go to a shaman (e.g. Temple of the Way of Light, in Peru).  
                           
    Thanks you for your time, Luv Ben                                                                     

    Reference:

    Yensen,
    R. & Dryer, D. (2007). Addiction, despair, and the soul: successful
    psychedelic psychotherapy, a case study. Psychedelic
    Medicine: New Evidence for Hallucinogenic Substances as Treatments.
    Vol. 2: Pages 15-28.
    link: http://www.etnopsico.org/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=61

    Glennon, R.A., Titeler, M., & Lyon, R.A.
    (1988). “Radioligand binding evidence implicates the brain 5-HT2 receptor
    as a site of action for LSD & phenylisopropylamine hallucinogens.” Psychopharmacology (Berl.) vol. 94, issue 2: Pages 213–216.

     

    Nichols, D.E. (2000). “Role of serotonergic neurons and 5-HT
    receptors in the action of hallucinogens.” In H. Baumgarten & M.
    Gothert (editors) of  Serotoninergic Neurons & 5-HT Receptors
    in the CNS. Santa Clara, California: Springer-Verlag TELOS [publishing].

     

    Svenningsson, P., Chergui, K., Rachleff, I.,
    Flajolet, M., Zhang, X., El Yacoubi, M., Vaugeois, J.M., Nomikos, G.G., &
    Greengard, P. (2006). “Alterations in 5-HT1B receptor function by p11 in
    depression-like states.” Science
    311, Issue 5757: Pages 77–80.

     

    Speyrer, J.A.
    (Winter edition, 1995-96).  “Ibogaine: Does This Psychedelic Drug Portend the End of
    Primal Therapy?” From Primal Feelings
    Newsletter, Issue 11.

    Link: http://primal-page.com/ibogaine.htm

     

    Jerome,
    L. (March-April, 2007). Psilocybin Investigator’s Brochure. MAPS Archive.

    Link: http://www.maps.org/research/psilo/psilo_ib.pdf

    Mishan, E.J. (1980). “Why LSD Should Be Legalized.” Chapter 5 in Pornography,
    Psychedelics & Technology, Essays on the Limits to Freedom. London: George
    Allen & Unwin [publishers].

    Link: http://www.psychedelic-library.org/mishan.htm

    Further reading:
    Multidisciplinary
    Association for Psychedelic Studies.
    link: http://www.maps.org/    

    Cole,
    N. (2009). Peyote Use in the Treatment
    of Alcoholism in the Native American Church.

    Link: http://www.neurosoup.com/peyote_alcoholism.htm

     

    Further listening:

    Psychedelic
    Salon [podcast archive]:

    Link: http://www.podcastdirectory.com/podcasts/1527

    Specifically: Podcast 015 Treating
    Childhood Schizophrenia with LSD and Psilocybin Episode.

    Why? It discusses Dr. Gary Fisher’s use of LSD to
    mentally & physically rejuvenate an almost terminally ill patient, who was
    both physically & mentally dying 

    Link: http://www.podcastdirectory.com/podshows/101584

     

  • Lightslide9

    GRRR

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=600926110 Kareem Fahmy

    rip ben

  • Abigail

    I don’t even know what to say. I feel utterly speechless. Rest in peace Ben and Ben’s loving father. If only the disease of addiction didn’t exist then our lives would be so much easier. 

  • atompa

    The father bought drugs to his son .

  • michelle

    I watched this and cried my eyes out. I felt so bad for Ben and his family. Love bonds between all were so prevalent it was just such a strong addiction. Rest in peace Ben!

  • davbod

    Turns out this guy was my dads cousin. I didn’t see this mentioned in the film, but his dad died soon after from cancer.

  • freya lamont

    Just so incredibly sad my heart goes out to Ben’s mother and the rest of his family.
    Rest in peace Ben, may your struggle inspire and help people in similar situations.

    i found a new working link: http://www.putlocker.com/file/C8371DA1A33DF341#

  • Jack

    Some of these comments are nasty and ignorant. YOU haven’t had a problem with weed, so anyone who does are pathetic? YOU haven’t experienced how it can destroy families YOU, YOU YOU. Wake up. Not everyone are you. You have no idea. My sibling stole from the family to pay for his cannabis obsession, went through months of psychological hell and then killed himself, leaving my parents to find his body. Yes, you can not blame weed for this entirely. But those with a vulnerable mind (teenagers for example, he was only 17) – can become quite screwed up because of the mind altering affect of weed and this can and does destroy families. So please think before you hurl abuse at people who are obviously struggling and want better for their 15 and 17 year old children who are addicted to pot.

  • MIk

    Such a lovely dad… And ben was a lovely kid too. They really had a nice relationship… So precious…

  • Rose

    I saw this last night and can’t stop thinking about it. You see, I am the mother of a heroin addict. This family is like my family. You don’t know what to do but keep trying. My heart truly goes out to Ben’s family. RIP Ben.

  • Pete

    ffs please change the invitation to post. “37 Responses to This Documentary, Leave Your’s?” This is illiterate and makes the site look amateurish. Try this: 37 responses to this documentary. Leave yours.
    At the very least, please remove the apostrophe in ‘yours’.

  • Bertuswonkel

    This is one sad docu. Heroin is a nasty drug but unfortunately also one of the most profitable products for dealers as well as the Taliban. Banning drugs does not work, what we need is save and less addictive alternatives. When weed, pills ,mushrooms etc. the so called soft drugs are legal people wont need to go to a dealer who rather seems them using coke or heroine since it is likely to raise their profit margins. The war on drug has failed to achieve its objectives. Drug addicts are not criminals but patients and need to be treated as such. I am struggling with a nicotine addiction for years, although this is far less extreme i still can relate to the feeling of doing something which you know is stupid and deathly but you do it anyways. We are not rational beings, our own thoughts and feelings are not fully under our control. It is time for governments to recognize that some people will always seek drugs for pleasure or self medication. Since this is the case i would argue that the state has an obligation to provide save, less addictive designer drugs to meet that demand. The best way to prevent people from using highly addictive drugs such a heroine is to defeat the drugs on the market by providing cheaper, saver and more fun alternatives.

  • Nomis

    I would echo the thoughts of BertusW… Drugs are a health issue. How did we ever allow this to become a criminal justice issue? I blame the Americans here, they banned Hemp back in the 1920′s because it was a threat to their cotton industry and Marijuana came from the hemp plant. Over a million people suffering incarceration in America for drug involvement. This is a big cost in human suffering that far outweighs any suffering of drug users.

    • TooFastTim

      Painful to watch

  • Kevo

    LEGALIZE POT

    • Rogers

      Amen.

  • Daria

    The plague of the 80s … terrible!

  • bringmeredwine

    Wow! This doc certainly held my attention.
    The editor did a super job with Ben’s video diary, and the input from Ben’s family was very touching, intelligent and heart-breaking.
    I was used to watching heroine addicts on the show, “Intervention”. Most of them were screaming, selfish, spoiled bullies who seemed to purposely lash out and destroy their family members.
    Ben was very manipulative, a liar and obviously self-absorbed; and yet he also loved his family very much and hated what he was doing to them.
    I just couldn’t hate the man.
    By the 30min mark, these doc was really heating up.
    By the 40min mark, I couldn’t stand to see what was happening to Ben and especially his poor dad.
    Many, many thanks to Ben’s family for putting this doc out there for others to observe and learn from.

  • button man

    Ben’s sister is a bitch unreal she doesn’t understand it was a addiction, Ben didn’t want to hurt his family, the drug took the real Ben away.What a sad doc people need to see this before trying drugs.Awe Ben thanks for filming this and i no you have changed lives,Rest In Perfection Ben

  • Rebekah

    So real this film, Ben thanks for filming it, it’s a real insight into how addiction affects families aswell as the addict, you were truly blessed to have them stick by you as they did, lots don’t, now you are at peace with God, I hope others watch this and are inspired x

    • doodle12

      Your stupid. his parents enabled his addiction and ultimately his short life

  • Sherry W

    I lost my 18-year old son, Richard to an accidental overdose of Heroin, Cocaine and Xanax last Sep. 28, 2013. I found him in his bed that morning, called 911 and tried CPR, but it was too late. I had absolutely no idea that Richard was involved in these sort of drugs. When I heard him “snoring” earlier that morning, I thought it was because he was tired and got home late. He was due to be at his part-time landscaping job at 9, but I left at 8:45 to go to the grocery store. When I came back at 10, I knew for certain something was wrong, as he never left for work. Richard was a responsible, gifted young man, as many of his teachers told m throughout his life and he excelled in most of his classes.. He was enrolled in college and received a small scholarship. He wanted to major in neuroscience. Richard was a quiet, gentle person who loved his cats. He never liked attention and always preferred to be in the background. He embarrassed easily, especially when I bragged to others’ about his achievements. Richard had an older brother, Phillip, who he was close to, but Phillip was away at college 2 years prior to Richard’s death. I don’t know what happened with Richard and still struggle to find answers. This film about Ben really helped me realize that it is truly a disease. I blamed myself for many months after Richard died, and still do to some degree. I thought maybe I did something wrong, that I should have been more observant and tuned in. I especially berated myself for not going in his room when he was “snoring”, which I never heard him do before. It wasn’t until the autopsy report came back and the detectives gave me back his phone that I saw the truth in the text messages. Richard had started taking prescription pain medication his senior year of high school. Prior to that, we had a few arguments when I found marijuana in his room or his car, but it was never anything more. Evidently, Richard became addicted to the opiates and, thru a vast network of drug dealers all through our suburbs, was either talked into or just willingly ventured out to the more affordable, easier access drugs of cocaine and heroin He had started taking these only a few months prior to his death. I have never found the truth from the friends he was with that night, so don’t know why he would take both cocaine and heroin or how much.. He evidently really liked Xanax as well and was probably addicted to that. It is truly a family’s worst nightmare, especially when you try so hard to give your children a “good” upbringing. I thought I did all the right things, and maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, but this film helped me to see things in a different light. The pain of course is endless and the ache I feel for him never subsides, but this film will hopefully help other’s in some way.. I would really like to see this shown in the schools here in America. Is there any way this can be done? Thank you so much!

  • Blake R

    I don’t think you can make a sadder documentary than that.

  • James

    My heart goes out to the family. The love and stoicism of his totally dedicated parents are an inspiration to us all. So many parents do not get to hear their child articulate their love and gratitude, not clearly, not persuasively. Ben seemed to do so effortlessly and frequently. That’s a beautiful thing and a great testament to his parents, who clearly taught him how to love and why.

    Ben struck me, even in the grip of the worst of his addiction, as a very charismatic individual. The flame of humanity burned strongly in him. It was not a wasted life. Far from it. In making this film Ben achieved more, in my view, than the vast majority of people who manage to avoid the blight of chronic addiction and lead normal yet all too often uninspiring and unremarkable lives. His pain and suffering were authentic – they remind us what it really is to be human and why compassion exists.

    The world is blessed to have had him pass through it. Rest in peace.

  • isidro

    needs to be a lesson for others

  • shinz

    This is why people hate drugs. It sucks the life out of you. Maybe a court ordered rehab program could have helped. but they say he relapsed. Maybe court ordered monitoring. And therapy. Something was ailing his soul. We need to get to the bottom of that too.