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Cutting Edge explores the purity movement in America, where one girl in every six pledges to remain a virgin, or to save her first kiss, until her wedding day.
Award-winning documentary-maker Jane Treays investigates whether this decision is made by the girls themselves or their parents, and follows a group of fathers and daughters as they prepare to attend a `purity ball’ in Colorado Springs, run by Randy Wilson and his wife Lisa.
Okay, I’m all for saving yourself for marriage or choosing to abstain from sex for a set period of time. I am 18 and still a virgin and in my experience, my choice has given me a different perspective about relationships and what is important in a person. However, I completely disagree with what they say about girls without fathers. I have grown up without a father in my life yet here I am, making the same choices as them about who I want to marry and seeking a committed, monogomous, serious relationship. I never ran off with every guy who threw me a piece of bait like these people seem to think. Their heart is in the right place, but seriously, they have no idea what theyre talking about.
I stopped watching around 3 minutes in when the girls were carrying a phallic symbol on their shoulders.
Ignorant fools.
Andrea, I completely agree. That is exactly what my husband and I were just saying!
My problem with this whole idea is that young children, who have not yet had a chance to form their OWN opinion are being brought into this, and if the have sex, their families turn away from them. How is that following Christ? People (not just these people) say they are following God, yet they are all intolerant, and un-Christ like. Also, girls sexual educations are being completely ignored and that is not safe for them.
I’m only four minutes in and I’m already squicked out.
I’m only four minutes in and I’m already squicked out.
do they think that their husbands will throw them a ball every night just to let them know that they love them… no wonder some women are so demanding. and the whole “relationship”… that is no bloody relationship, thats just some freak telling you what he wants you to think. can you imagine fucked things these men would do in their spare time? this was a great doco… just shows how fucked up America is, of course not all of it but who the fuck thinks of this stuff!
Wow…powerful documentary!
One one hand, it is wonderful to see an emphasis on women being valued (as stated, at least). And it is good to see the strong relationship between parents and children.
On the other hand…it is absolutely heartbreaking! The girl who got pregnant, the control some of the fathers exercise over their daughters, the lack of emphasis on the “correct” behavior of the sons…
All in all, I am grateful that I did not grow up with this…and I wish all those involved the very best!
what if one of their daughters were gay?
One girl said that one of the ten commandments is not to be intimate before your wedding. Umm, which one? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments None of them…
Whoops, I posted too soon. Apparently it’s the adultery one. Because you’re cheating on your future husband. Le sigh.
Whoops, I posted too soon. Apparently it’s the adultery one. Because you’re cheating on your future husband. Le sigh.
One girl said that one of the ten commandments is not to be intimate before your wedding. Umm, which one? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments None of them…
One girl said that one of the ten commandments is not to be intimate before your wedding. Umm, which one? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments None of them…
Yes Yes “how special would it be to say I’ve kissed but one man in my life”. But what about “I’ve kissed but one girl in my life” ? Quite impossible
This is unfortunate. These dads are teaching their daughters that if they follow these rules they will never experience the problems or pain that could be experienced from pre-marital sex (broken heart, stds, unwanted pregnancy), but all of those things could just as easily happen if you follow the rules. They are setting them up with an unrealistic fantasy of romance, while inflicting a kind of creepy dominant male fantasy on them (women MUST be virgins, men not necessarily) . What are these girls going to do if their husband has an affair and they contract an STD? Or they never find this vision of a man they have been taught to hold out for? I think it’s great that they are focusing on instilling these girls with a lot of self worth and self respect, but they still need to be given the freedom and education to make that decision for themselves. I can see how that fantasy is appealing since the world is a scary, abusive, hyper sexual place, and these parents want to shield their kids from that. Unfortunately in the real world things don’t always work out the way that these people seem to want them to. I wish they would focus more on teaching men how to treat women properly, as opposed to teaching women how to be virgins.
Heart breaks and challenges in life are part of how I developed my maturity. So I probably don’t agree 100% with this documentary. I wouldn’t want my parents to shelter me to the degree of my love life. & why has this gotta be focused on the girls? Where are the purity boys?
Also, why does the parent has to “approve” before you can date someone? You are suppose to validate when you are dating, and not being validated before you go on dates. It’s like judging a book by its cover.
And jessica is a good example of why having sex is a very natural process and not to wait till you get married. People in our generation marry LATE (20-30s), whereas people in the biblical times probably marry in their teens. Waiting times are different people!
The parent say like it is for the sake of their daughters’ happiness to practice abstinence, but when their daughters break the pledge, like in Jessica’s case, they end up having an estranged relationship. The parents seem to dictate their daughters’ lives rather than genuinely want their girls to be happy. It’s like their way or the high way, what choice can their daughters have? The daughter have to suffer in the end, but oh well, that’s life.
And precisely that she doesn’t know any “safe” practices, she only know’s “save”.
I get mad as I am typing… should not have watched this!
What Western American Male would “buy’ the goods so to speak without having at least kissed the the woman?
How can prohibiting contact with the opposite half of humanity prepare these girls for life? There’s more ways of doing that than making them wear a burka.
I think this was sickening. Yes it is in the bible for one to wait until marriage, but in all honesty, how many of us actually did wait until marriage. The truth is we are sexual human beings, we were made to reproduce, and that in essence is the purpose of our lives. If you wait till marriage and it is YOUR choice, by all means stand by it. But if your forces to believe that at an age when you still think boys have “cooties”, thats unfair for the girl to make a valid decision for herself. Also the parents giving permission, thats not right, these daughters should be old enough to know their partners. Besides, whats up with his daughters being engaged and married within a year? It takes a lot more than a year to know if that someone is really the one. How many of us have been in a relationship longer than half a year, and found out that person wasn’t right for us?
“do you expect a boy to wait?” <- key question for this whole little practice
They talk as though their daughters virginity is something they have to protect in case it is stolen or taken from them as opposed to something she has control over and the right to share with someone else. Messed up and sad.
When I was 20 years old, I was a virgin and I had no desire to go to a bar and I lived at home. But my dad didn’t have anything to do with it. Comic books were so much more appealing than boys. I bet there are many things that girls find to be more appealing than sex or other “impure” things those fathers are afraid of. Why force the girls to be princesses when they could be finding out about all the wonders of the world and what it is that interests them. They can be so much more. Those interesting things could lead to anything. I’m going to have partly self-published comic book next autumn. And only things I needed from my father was support and occasional ride to library and of course drawing materials when I was a kid.
ignorance like that truly scares me. it seems as if only women have to be “pure,” whatever that even means- otherwise they aren’t worth as much? because women are commodities? the whole thing just creeps me out.
What the Fuck do they put in the water in Colorado Springs??
You know, the US really is a free country. I like that it allows anyone to be as crazy they want, and no one is going to do anything to them. What’s more, the US actually does have free speech.
i wish i would have waited. i regret losing my virginity everyday
What is all this nonsense about a ‘wholesome, healthy life’? Why are these girls letting themselves be defined by what’s between their legs? There is nothing ‘empowering’ or feminist about this practice, the girls are being told that their virginity is a form of capital and they should save it up, like you would do with cash. This practice encourages sexual ignorance and has a strong misogynistic undercurrent. Like many of other commenters have said … where are the ‘virgin sons’?
Yeah yeah, just make sure these poor girls know they are the possessions of men for their entire lives! My dad used to tell me what a good idea Uni would be when I was in my teens, not tell me marriage was the be all and end all. He also would enquire in a positive way, as to weather or not I had a boyfriend and if I did he was happy for me. Consequently we have a great relationship, where we get along as equals, and friends, not as ‘daddy’ and ‘little Princess’, like it seems with these weirdos and their adult daughters. The relationship these girls have with their dads is plain weird and makes me feel a little uneasy, almost like it’s incest or something, emotional incest if anything, if that is a real thing. I pity all the females concerned it this farcical lifestyle.
To be honest, that’s a better lifestyle choice than the typical Westernised way. Healthy father and daughter relationships, setting a high standard for a partner, respect for parents and setting high expectations are just a few of what the lifestyle promotes. If you ask me it depicts the ‘Asian Parenting’ except for the fact that the parents from the Virgin Daughters express their affection and reason out why they behave in a certain manner.
I wish it covered more though in the sense that how are the girls at school and their achievements.
This is so ridiculously creepy. I find it so weird that the fathers are so obsessed with keeping their daughters “pure” and making sure they are virgins in a total sense of the word. I know that my Dad can be protective of me, but he also trusts me to make the right decisions for myself and for what I believe in. This documentary literally made me shudder. A father should not be THIS involved in his daughters “sexual” life (if you would call kissing sexual). Colorado Springs is the headquarters for the evangelical church in America, that is why it is so insane. Funnily enough, one of the most liberal colleges is in this town (Colorado College). I would never understand these types of people. I pity these children and the brainwashing they are being put through.
First the fathers own their daughter’s sexuality, then the husbands own it. It’s a shame that at no point in these girls lives are they in control of their own bodies.
“i’ve kissed but one man in my life”… who has probably kissed a whole lot of other women, but that’s not important at all.
Sick! These girls are turned into robots… Hannah (11:20) seems like she has been taught this speech… Great going America, after criticizing every single effing civilization on this world about how they handle human rights and women rights…
What happens when the sex is absolutely NOTHING to them? It doesn’t matter, does it? Because liking sex is impure.. I wonder if the parents had pure sex all their lifes
What happens if the husband proves to be someone with particular … wishes.. What if they are weirdos/perverts.. whatever?
I don’t know, I’m not saying being a virgin until you love someone is bad, it’s not.. But marriage is such a HUGE commitment… and not even kissing, touching before, is so risky to the health of the relationship.
All that aside, it’s just creepy that the parents, and especially the fathers get so involved is their daughter’s sex life.. I mean, deciding for the kids?! Bleah
What these people do not realise is that the men are groomed to become narcissists and the women submissive baby machines/pleasure machines, Babysitters and cleaning ladies.
When is this divide between men and women going to be made illegal? This way of thinking is destructive. I grew up in a very liberal home, making my own choices between right and wrong (for the most part), and I still have this ability to unconsciously be sexist. Why is that??
Through generations and generations we have this engrained image of what a woman should be and this seriously needs to stop. The main issue with today’s society is that the women who try and instil this new way of thinking are guilty of imposing not the same but a different double standard where women should be equal but at the same time have different privileges to men.
Only when both sexes fully let go of societal preconception and treat each other without considering gender can there be a equal playing field.
I think its just the dads obsession with their little girls not growing up… they know what they did at that age now they fear what other men will do… like some of you have said… why not focus on raising the boys the right way to treat the girls right in the first place? and how many boys do this ritual with their moms? swearing their moms to protect their virginity?
First thought: why is it that these parents push virginity instead of giving their daughters the right to really choose their sexual nature? why is it that the parents are even pushing any religion? freedom = love and love = freedom. They were born into a pre-determined box. A blinded form of experiencing their own existence and place in the world. It is most important to make your own choices. Putting your child behind mental fences is not love, it is not protection, it is selfish and lacking the ability to see a bigger picture.
Second Thought: why is it so blatantly sexist? why are young boys not promised to their mothers to remain virgins? This is so alike many other religions. I was in Indonesia getting a ride from a Muslim friend and he was saying that he had to break up with the love of his life because there was a huge problem. I asked what was the problem and he said “well she was not a virgin.” So of coarse I responded with “well are you?” ….”no” he replied meekly. Why is this not expected of the men? why are the father figures blatantly sluts (oh it’s ok because I’m a man, but my daughter here is a virgin till she’s married…wtf ….obvious hypocrite) and stop trying to live vicariously through your daughter! Who care’s if you were sexually active back in the day, you are the one being sadistic now.
Third Thought: These girls are brainwashed into thinking that the person they “first kiss” will be the answer. They are willing to put all their eggs into one basket and rely on this instead of themselves or the world. Well maybe god…hahah!
Fourth Thought: The dads want their daughters to basically choose a man like them. Selfish…. Incestuous….Wow going out of your comfort zone is really that scary to trust your daughter to choose a man for herself. To trust your daughter to gain character. I’m ending with a quote “Until we lose ourselves there is no hope of finding ourselves”
So basically, just because the fathers were manwhores in their younger years they’re denying their daughters to develop a healthy and reasonable stance on the physical part of relationships.Yeah… thumbs up for great parenting.
are some of those children even old enough to understand the concept of purity?
$10 bucks says they have no friends
9:05 “it’s one of the 10 commandments” o.o what bible are they teaching those girls????
why not give love to your daughter no matter what she does? why should she have to live in a way that their fathers most likely did not, and be less experienced and emotionally prepared than the man she’ll likely end up with? this is disgusting and not the message of unconditional love.