BDD, or Body Dysmorphic Disorder, is a largely undiagnosed medical condition that is said to affect 1% of the British population. Sufferers are obsessed with how they look and can spend hours obsessively grooming themselves. Often misunderstood as a vanity driven obsession, people with BDD are the opposite; they believe they are horrendously ugly. In fact they are so disgusted by their looks, one in four attempt suicide.
Too Ugly for Love follows three sufferers living with BDD, and shows how they’re fighting it to regain a normal life. They’re offered therapy from one of the country’s leading experts in BDD, Rob Willson. His therapy makes sufferers carry out tasks that force them to confront the thing that terrifies them the most – the way they look.
Well, here’s some stuff to think about if you’re worried about people staring. Most people walk around 99% preoccupied with their own stuff 99% of the time. Somebody could rob a bank across the street from them and IF they noticed…they probably wouldn’t be able to describe how many robbers there were later much less what they looked like. People really don’t notice as much as you’d think. We worry about how we look but it’s not really about us is it- we aren’t the centre of everyone’s attention- not even close. They aren’t staring, they aren’t judging they are probably busy thinking about lunch or what time the bus is going to come, or maybe worrying about people staring at them….ironically.
Also Mamma June got a boyfriend, I’m just saying- let’s all think about that for a minute too lol
I don’t know if I have BDD or I’m just ugly
How is this possible. I only watched the first part of this, but that girl is gorgeous. I wish I looked like her. I am ugly compared to her, and I am not happy with how I look but staying inside all day only makes me feel worse. However, I have been diagnosed with depression, not BDD. I wonder what happened in this girl’s life to make her think she is ugly.
I dont believe you. You can either be ugly or have a wife not both. Truly ugly people are forever alone
It’s wrong to diagnose ugly people with BDD. After theyre treated differently and left out all their lives and consistently rejected . To tell them they just made it all up in their head is sick
Yeah the society I live in (Western) trains people subliminally to worship beauty and view ugliness with contempt. This is due to television and print media mainly, just look at disney films, people for some reason think they are good wholesome and innocent fun, yet the unconscious message being portrayed repeatedly is that beauty is righteous, and ugliness is evil. A lot of people seem to follow this ideology and act it out unconsciously. Thankfully it is usually shallow people who behave this way so in a way being not conventionally attractive can keep shallow people away from you, which is a silver lining I guess.
However like you say, you do get treated differently which can be confusing some times. Repeatedly through my life strangers have told me I look ‘dodgy’ or ‘sketchy’, when ironically I am much more kind hearted than most people, it can give you a complex when it keeps happening which I guess is what BDD is.
I think I might be suffering from the opposite of this, people always saying I gained weight and I have a curved spine, and I couldn’t care any less how I look. This might affact my health.
Kudos to subjects of this documentary!! Let me just say… you are all awesome (and nowhere near hideous!) I also have BDD (for 30 years now…I was never brave enough to get counselling in the small town where I live) I can say, it doesn’t get better on it’s own.
I regret seeking help , seems kind of pointless now. I wish you all the very best!
I think a lot of women have the same form of BDD as Ruth – not being able to face going outside without makeup. And in a way it’s frustrating to watch because she’s genuinely beautiful. My face is worse than hers, I have pink blotchy skin and dark grey under my eyes. I cover it up and feel mostly normal, but I wish I was as pretty as her without makeup.
what utter MORON of a plastic surgeon would operate on a perfectly normal nose especially when there’s such risk involved! they should have their license taken away!
I have just watched this movie. I like it becuase it shows the problem, which is treated as if it was invisible…. I found out about the illness from this movie. And I think I also suffer from BBD. I thought that I suffered from depression but it seems that I was wrong ;<
I’m really impressed and I think You’re a nice and smart girl. So don’t be sad,
life can be sometimes amazing, a lot of surprises are waiting for us, our task
is to catch some of them. Trying is not a sinn. CU
i find this silly those people should keep themselves busy
doing something productive instead of thinking none sense things
get a job all of you like it out there! Wasted my time shit.
Jesus H Christ. I get told I am ugly every fucking day of my life. It’s being going on since I was 20, and I’m now 35. I’ve been spat at, had bricks thrown through my window, get ostracised at work and beyond, been told I’m a completely worthless human being – because of my face. Not just women, men too. Not just young people, older people too. Not just white people, black people too. I clearly fulfill the definition of universal ugliness. And yet, I get up and go to work. I go out and keep my cool. I support my long suffering wife and two children (who do NOT know what other people put me through, because I DON’T TALK ABOUT IT!). Get a fucking grip you total idiots. Stop snivelling in front of the mirror. Adjust your worldview and get a fucking LIFE!!!
What a moronic response. These people are supposed to be just like you then and handle life how you handle it? I doubt very much you are ugly or worthless, but you definitely have become ignorant because of it.
You don’t even have a “life.” You have a very unhealthy belief that you “fulfill the definition of universal ugliness.” If your hope is that these people become like you and accept their ugliness and go to work believing they’re useless, then I question your own quality of life. I definitely wouldn’t hope any body lives life as you do. You need some serious adjustment on your own views of yourself and the world.
Watch out – all these sites are being closed and charged for copyright issues.
I think i have this :/ … people say there is nothing wrong with me but i hate myself, after watching this it made me think maybe they are telling the truth.
I was gobsmacked at Kayla and Ruth, from what you see of Kayla she looks stunning and Ruth does too … it blew my mind they thought they were anything but beautiful.
To me it seems like BDD is more about control and low self-esteem than anything else. Just like with eating disorders like anorexia which is not really about being thin but instead about having some kind of control over one area of your life and focusing all your energy on that. With each person they had their own way of controlling how they looked be it by plastic surgery, wearing sunglasses, or covering over with makeup. Just my two cents on the matter. They feel anxiety and a lack of control in their life and focus all that onto something superficial and then in order to control the anxiety’s they’ve placed on the superficial they try to control it with make-up, etc. It eventually becomes this whole big problem that really has nothing to do with the superficial at all but masks the real issues of feelings of lack of control and anxiety.
To me it seems like BDD is more about control and low self-esteem than anything else. Just like with eating disorders like anorexia which is not really about being thin but instead about having some kind of control over one area of your life and focusing all your energy on that. With each person they had their own way of controlling how they looked be it by plastic surgery, wearing sunglasses, or covering over with makeup. Just my two cents on the matter. They feel anxiety and a lack of control in their life and focus all that onto something superficial and then in order to control the anxiety’s they’ve placed on the superficial they try to control it with make-up, etc. It eventually becomes this whole big problem that really has nothing to do with the superficial at all but masks the real issues of feelings of lack of control and anxiety.
I didn’t know cousin it from the adams family had bdd??
I see what u did thar!
I didn’t know cousin it from the adams family had bdd??
I didn’t know cousin it from the adams family had bdd??
i’ve kinda suspected I might have this for a while now. I think it explains why I dye my hair such crazy colors, it’s like the guy’s glasses to me =/
WTF, all the hypochondriacs come out of the woodwork…
WTF, all the hypochondriacs come out of the woodwork…
WTF, all the hypochondriacs come out of the woodwork…
I respect these people for going on tv with this illness. I have some of the same traits and im very insecure about the way i look. Sometimes i wont leave the house when im having a bad day. I would never be able to go as far as surgery but i think therapy would help me. These are strong people to be able to confront the desease. People who say there just ‘drama queens’ need to live a day in the life before judging. It is a psychological thing.
I respect these people for going on tv with this illness. I have some of the same traits and im very insecure about the way i look. Sometimes i wont leave the house when im having a bad day. I would never be able to go as far as surgery but i think therapy would help me. These are strong people to be able to confront the desease. People who say there just ‘drama queens’ need to live a day in the life before judging. It is a psychological thing.
I suffer from this as well as an eating disorder, began seeking help toward the end of last year. When I acknowledged the problem and made the decision to get better is when it became the hardest, maybe just from trying to understand and make changes over the past ten months; that’s been the worst. Unfortunately I dropped my college classes and had no intention of returning, I couldn’t bear leaving the house. I’m now planning to go back this fall — hopefully full-time. Also changing my focus in school to something health related. Wishing Kayla, Joelian, and Ruth the very best! I really, really appreciate this documentary.
i dont know you but i am so proud you are going back to your classes : )
I suffer from this 🙁 It’s encouraging to know that there are other out there with the same sort of perceptions of themselves… I will spend hours in front of the mirror literally picking my face apart. Ugh. I hope I can overcome it before college.
i hope you do as well. I didn’t realize that saying things like “you look fine” to people with this disorder would be a bad thing. I wanted to screammmm to the people in this video that they looked fine! And ruth was gorgeous with and without make up. I hope you feel better and remember that everyone is too worried about their own problems to think about what you look like…seriously!
awwww 🙁 snap yourself out of it, yur missing out on too much hun
awwww 🙁 snap yourself out of it, yur missing out on too much hun
I have struggled with Anorexia for years, and can relate to their illness not so much in the body image respect, but in how you can “just do it.” Just like the man could not “just” take his glasses off, I couldn’t “just” eat. And yet, despite having had struggled with my own mental illness and being able to connect in this respect, I found it hard to not think “Just do it: just go outside, just turn the lights on, etc …” I think that, like it was hard for people to see how I thought I was fat, it is hard to see how these people could possibly think they’re ugly. It is very hard to understand that mentality, even if you do have a way to relate.
Best of wishes to these strong individuals and others out there struggling.
Irony: The option to ‘Turn off the lights’ above the video.
wuts that option evn 4…?
Irony: The option to ‘Turn off the lights’ above the video.
Irony: The option to ‘Turn off the lights’ above the video.
I’m sorry but I honestly don not feel like this is a real disease. I feel they are drama queens.
I assure you sir that it is a very real problem. These people just do not see themselves for who they really are. It’s like they’re wearing lenses that automatically come on when they look at themselves and all they see are hideous monsters. These cases are very extreme, I have a friend with anorexia and BBD, she will not look in the mirror for long periods of time and when she does (to put make up on a so forth) I notice she’s not looking at her whole face. She gets super close to the mirror and concetrates on one area of her face at a time so she doesn’t have to see the whole thing.
People say this about my disorders – agoraphobia, psychosis and BPD. I’ve been to several professionals who don’t believe I suffer from any of these, despite numerous hospitalizations and years of psychiatric aid. When I tell people I simply can’t go outside, that I can’t be around “normal people” or “infect” my friends with my problems, a lot of the time I get an unsympathetic “suck it up and go outside already.” It’s never easy to conquer a mental illness, and on days when things get particularly bad, all I can do is turn off the lights, cover all my mirrors, and stay in bed. On the outside, I don’t appear to have anything wrong with me. Thanks to therapy and medication, I have a fulfilling and rich social life, and though I can’t be away from home as long as most people can, I seem outgoing and extroverted on my good days. I suppose this leads to disbelief when I mention that yes, I am mentally ill, and I can’t just force myself to go outside, any less than I can force myself to stop hallucinating or spiking emotions.
People say this about my disorders – agoraphobia, psychosis and BPD. I’ve been to several professionals who don’t believe I suffer from any of these, despite numerous hospitalizations and years of psychiatric aid. When I tell people I simply can’t go outside, that I can’t be around “normal people” or “infect” my friends with my problems, a lot of the time I get an unsympathetic “suck it up and go outside already.” It’s never easy to conquer a mental illness, and on days when things get particularly bad, all I can do is turn off the lights, cover all my mirrors, and stay in bed. On the outside, I don’t appear to have anything wrong with me. Thanks to therapy and medication, I have a fulfilling and rich social life, and though I can’t be away from home as long as most people can, I seem outgoing and extroverted on my good days. I suppose this leads to disbelief when I mention that yes, I am mentally ill, and I can’t just force myself to go outside, any less than I can force myself to stop hallucinating or spiking emotions.
People say this about my disorders – agoraphobia, psychosis and BPD. I’ve been to several professionals who don’t believe I suffer from any of these, despite numerous hospitalizations and years of psychiatric aid. When I tell people I simply can’t go outside, that I can’t be around “normal people” or “infect” my friends with my problems, a lot of the time I get an unsympathetic “suck it up and go outside already.” It’s never easy to conquer a mental illness, and on days when things get particularly bad, all I can do is turn off the lights, cover all my mirrors, and stay in bed. On the outside, I don’t appear to have anything wrong with me. Thanks to therapy and medication, I have a fulfilling and rich social life, and though I can’t be away from home as long as most people can, I seem outgoing and extroverted on my good days. I suppose this leads to disbelief when I mention that yes, I am mentally ill, and I can’t just force myself to go outside, any less than I can force myself to stop hallucinating or spiking emotions.
Whatever you’d like to call it, they’re clearly in a lot of emotional pain.
I’m sorry but I honestly don not feel like this is a real disease. I feel they are drama queens.
I’m sorry but I honestly don not feel like this is a real disease. I feel they are drama queens.
i really don’t like the narrator’s comments, it made me feel as though i was contributing to the exploitation of mentally ill people. i was watching a documentary to try to understand and learn, not for posterity. I think this wasn’t made in the spirit of psychology but based on the perverse satisfaction some get by judging and looking down on people who are less fortunate.
That’s strange to hear. I didn’t get that sense at all from the narrator. He seemed fine to me.
I couldn’t have said it better myself! I couldn’t finish it honestly, I hate the narrator THAT much… He really ruined the piece for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUKlLpMg-eM
no video !
As mentioned above, the video does not work.
the video seems to not work at the moment, atleast from my end
there
my work here is done